Okay yall gOt the lil preview Of my life lOl but nOw gOtta make muh jOint prOtected! Los Amigos Solo!

M'kay? :)

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mood

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wOwww.... this week has been real crazy. i was havin a gOOd weekend n all but then mOnday came and...   :(

well this lil cOnflict brOke Out between me n' my gurls... sOme shit that i dOnt even feel like gettin intO. it was nuttin big at first, shanae n me had gOtten intO this lil argument or whatever. i had drOpped it, but next thing i knOw at lunch she brings it back up n' gets amari tO agree wit her n' be On her side... and then like asiya n jayna were On mine... and it basically split us (my main crew) apart. i was trying sO hard to jus drOp it but they hadddd tO keep bringin it back up again and kept arguin. sO everyOne's mad at each Other n we dOnt talk to each Other fOr the next twO days. this was jus makin me sO mad. i'd be On the phOne wit jayna n asiya every night n we'd try tO call amari n shenae, but neither Of them wOuld pick up calls frOm any of us. sO tuesday i'd try talkin tO them... but they'd just walk away and act like i wasn't there! it irritated me soOoOo much. n then i gOt hOme n started cryin... cuz i'm a sensitive persOn, n whenever peOple fight Or argue i just try tO stay Out Of it. and the fact that sOme Of my best friends wOuldnt speak tO me nO matter hOw hard i tried tO make things right made me feel real sad... cuz everyOne knOws us 5 have knOwn each Other since we were knee high n that we'll always have each Other's backs nO matter what... sO usually nO One be messin wit any Of us cuz they knOw we'd squad up. we've never let a lil argument Or anything fOr that matter get in the way Of Our friendship.  sO me, ay, n jay wrOte a nOte tO bOth Of em tellin them all this On tuesday but we never gOt any respOndance back. n' yesterday i was basically walkin arOund all depressed n everything... sad at the thOught that we'd never all be hOmegirls again like we use tO.  tOday kevin had came up tO me at lunch n was like 'why yOu been lOOkin all sad this week?' n at first i tOld him i wasn't in the mOOd tO talk abOut it but i had tO let it Out tO sOmebOdy and eventually i tOld him the whOle stOry. he made me feel a lil bit better but nOt really.  sO nOw its thursday and amari n shenae still aren't talkin tO any Of us. DAMN i dOnt knOw what their prOblems are but if they still mad Over the lil argument On mOnday then i'm nOt even gOnna deal wit bOtherin them nO mO! they can act like that all they want but i aint gOt time tO play arOund wit them. real friends wOuld talk it Out n nOt let sOmethin sO small bOther them. ughhh i try tellin this tO myself Over n Over but i lOve em sO much i dOnt wanna jus let em gO like this!!! but Oh well... if they wanna act this way there's nuttin i can dO.

i guess its just us 3 nOw... me, jayna, n asiya. //sighs\\

Okay sO we finished Our prOject, finally! i was at amari's basically all day dOin that, smh. but we had fun clOwnin arOund n whatnOt lOl. after we was dOne i walked wit asiya tO her hOuse, n then tOOk her lil sis tO the playgrOund dOwn the street. omg asiya was pushin her On the swings n' i was swingin On the One swing next tO em, right? n' all Of a sudden sOmeOne cOmes up behind me n dOes a underdOg! (yOu knOw that lil thing when sOmebOdy pushin yOu pushes yOu up all high n runs under) i gOt all scared n' was bOut ta fall Off, i was screamin lOl. and then i fOund Out it was kevin wit dumb (sexy) self.  i jumped Off n started chasin him, lmaO. he always Over in this neighbOrhOOd n' he dOnt even live Over here... i was like 'why yOu always Over here?' n he said, 'cuz i gOt peOple's Over here'  n i asked whO his peOples were n'  he was like 'yoOouuu' n gave me a hug, aww it was sO beautiful... lOl. sO anyway asiya n' ashli went Off sOmewhere n' was playin, n' me n kevin was jus chillin. at first he was pushin me On the swings, n then we was jus sittin On a bench talkin. after a while it was gettin dark, so i was like 'lemme get my butt hOme befOre i get in trOuble.' n he was like 'aight,' walked me hOme, n gave me a hug gOOdbye. i wanted ta kiss him sO bad BUT i retained myself, lOl. plus, i'm nOt that bOld. i asked him he needed dez tO give him a ride hOme but he said he was cOOl n' started walkin Off... sO i guess he hadda ride frOm sOmebOdy. sOOn as i walked in i ran up tO my rOOm n called asiya. lOl, i was all screamin.... "aahhh! yOu saw us, right??? wasn't it soOoO beautiful!!" ahaha.... smh @ myself. she was like 'yup i saw ya'll. i cant believe yall nOt gOin back Out yet.'  i cant believe it either, but Oh well... maybe it'll happen One day ...

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Hola mi peOples! Que pasa? Cómo era su día? 

nO schOOl tOday Or tOmOrrOw! we was hyped //smilez\\

unfOrtanetly i had tO watch my lil' brOther n sister deOntay n diamOnd cuz my parents had tO wOrk. they're 12 n' 7.  smh... i'm always the One that gOtta watch 'em. dezmOnd dOnt neva hafta dO nuttin.. but it's cOOl i luv em, my lil angels ahaha! but anyway my mOm came hOme 'rOund 5 sO i went over shenae's hOuse, where me n' jayna are chillin' nOw, watchin save the last dance. awww i lOve this mOvie! yea, sO we spendin the night n' tOmOrrOw gOin' tO the mOvies n' the mall i think //wonders if i have any mulah??\\. n' then i gOtta gO over amari's hOuse again sOmetime, tO finish Our prOject befOre mOnday! i'll hOwler

<3 Dezaree'

HellO mi amOrs...

tOday i had a gOOd day!

it was madd funny, i stayed laughin tOday cuz peOple in every class was makin jOkes n' actin all stupid. at lunch i was cryin... omg. i wuz sittin at my usual table wit amari, asiya, jayna, kevin, brandO, shenae, stephOn (n' sOmetimes kevin)... we was jus jOkin arOund n rememberin' funny stuff that happened last year. ha n kevin was sittin dOwn at the table next tO us n his chair had slipped back sO he fell n errybOdy burst Out laughin... ahaha. n' then alana came over there tO see what happened n' she saw kevin gettin up n was  like "dang yall why yall pull his chair out yOu knOw yOu wOuld get pissed if sOmeOne did that tO yOu" n erryOne was like "aint nO One pull his chair Out wtf are yOu talkin abOut?" ahaha it was funny... she walked away lOOkin all embarrassed. she shOulda been! see thass why dOnt nO One like her... but anyway kevin stOOd up n was like "nObOdy saw that!" n' he was laughin. shenae was drinkin sOme pepsi when it happened n' she heard the nOise n lOOked over at him on the flOOr n' spit it Out... lOl it was nasty.

but anyway i walked wit asiya n amari hOme tO wOrk On Our stupid prOject again (rOllin eyes). n' then we walked tO nick's hOuse... ha thass my lil buddy i lOve him. i think asiya startin ta feel him nOw.. omg it wOuld be weird if they went Out cuz they like twO Of my best friends

well nOw im watchin my gurl ciara acess granted fOr '1, 2 step' sO i'll be back... muah

<3 DeZaRee'

Wuss gOOd everyOne?? tOday i had an Okay day...

after schOOl i walked wit amari n' asiya tO amari's hOuse cuz we hadda dO a prOject fOr physics. sO we sat there wOrkin On it frOm like 4 - 5 n then we gOt kinda tired Of dOin it sO we walked Outside, n we was gOin tO nick's hOuse. n as we gOt clOser we seen 2 peOple sittin On the stOOp Of a hOuse tO dOOrs dOwn. n then i was like, "is that kevin?" (Of cOurse i wOuld be the One tO nOtice him all quick) n amari n asyia turned n lOOked n was like "yea thass him... whO he sittin wit?" we was gettin a lil clOser, n' then we realized who it was - this gurl lahela. sO i jus brushed it Off Or whatever n' was tryna walk straight tO nick's like i didnt nOtice kevin n lahela but oOoOof cOurse.... mari n' asiya hadda walk Over there n' i wasn't gOnna be left jus standin there so of course i hadda walk Over tOO. so they dO the usual "what up's?" n whatnOt. kevin was hardly lOOkin at me... but anyway after like a minute Or twO we had walked away n went tO nick's hOuse. sO we wuz chillin there fOr a while n then i called my brOther dezmOnd tO cOme pick me up... n when i was walkin Out to his car i saw lahela Outside n she was like "ay dez... yOu still feelin kevin?" n i was like "iOnO... i guess. sOmetimes i am sOmetimes i'm not, why?" n she sed  he said he liked me, but he alsO like jailena. and lahela is jailena's best friend.. sO Of cOurse that lil talk they were havin was abOut her. n' she said kevin said he wanted tO gO wit jai, but he didn't wanna make me mad cuz he kinda wants tO gO wit me tOO.  n' like, iOnO, this kinda make me feel sad cuz... i wanna be the Only One. but i knOw thass nOt right cuz i like Other peOple tOO... its juss... ugh. On One hand, i dOnt want him tO gO wit jai cuz i'm still in lOve with him. but On the Other, if they like each Other they shOuld gO  Out n' i dOnt wanna be in the way Of that, cuz i dOnt wanna seem all selfish n whatnOt.

dezmOnd cOuld tell i was sad in the car... sO we had a lil 5 minute talk On the way hOme. i knOw he was Only tryin tO help... but sOmehOw the advice he gave me jus made me sadder n' then i was feelin jus.. blah...

but then i was talkin tO kevin On aim n he was makin me laugh n stuff sO i feel kinda better...

Heeeyy! well tOday was... hmm..... interesting.  dOnt yall jus hate haters???? well, i'm walkin to lunch wit kevin (my boOoOo lOl) n then this chiq alana cOmesz walkin up by us n bumps me purpOsely On the shOulder n gOes, "can yall walk any slOwer?" n i'm like first Of all yOu aint have to push me like that n secOnd Of all we wasnt even gOin that slOw! i was bOut ready ta knOck her Out but kevin cOuld tell i wuz gettin real mad n wuz jus like "fOrget it, dez." sO i did jus that... i cOulda been immature n stOOped to her level but then i stOpped n thOught abOut it. fOr One, i almOst gOt suspended at the end Of last year fOr hittin sOmeOne - n i'm tryna keep that Off my recOrd, ya feel? and fOr twO, like my mOther always says, cOnsider the sOurce - are they wOrth wastin yOur time Over? NOOO! sO, jus had to let it gO. she's always tryna start sOmethin wit me when i dO absOlutely nOthin tO her! n then at lunch jayna (One Of my clOsest friends) tOld me that alana was like "dezaree's Outfit is sO ugly, what is she wearin? n why she always stalkin kevin...damn?"  n sOme Other sh**.  wOw. first of all why wOuld yOu talk abOut me in frOnt Of my best friend? secOnd,  ummm didn't i jus see that same Outfit On yOu last week?? third, WTH are yOu talkin abOut??? YOu're the One always stalkin kevin! like every time i'm arOund him here you come.  You're lOcker is nOwhere near his.... yet why dO i always see yOu hangin arOund it??  That's mOst likely the main reasOn she's always tryna start beef wit me... cuz kevin n i had a past relatiOnship and we're still basically best friends. but he hates her ass n i dOnt knOw why she cant get that thrOugh her thick head! ugh. 

but anyway... me n kevin was talkin tOday in art. (Our Only class we have tOgether... and we sit next tO each Other =) he was tellin me bOut peOple he liked n i was tellin him bOut peOple i liked... sO anyway he named this One gurl Jailena n then he was like... "n i still kinda like yOu"  sO i laughed n was like, nO yOu dOnt. but then he said he was seriOus,  n then when my friend Amari asked him he said maybe. sOoOo ....??? i mean, i dOnt knOw i guess ima lil happy cuz its nOt a complete nO but then again its nOt a cOmplete yes either. and plus, he likes jailena n it seems like he's fOrever tryna talk tO her n whatnOt. sOmetimes it seems like he likes me but then again that cOuld jus be mistaken fOr 'a good friendship.' but with jailena its evident he liikes her... peOple keep tellin me we shOuld gO back Out n we made the cutest cOuple, n i think the same thing... but i cOuldnt gO with him knOwing he likes anOther gurl and prObably mOre than me.... but whO knOws??

- Dezaree' -

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mood

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Ay ya'll! I'm new tO LJ, but anyway...

ii think ii'm in lOve. iit's jus... sO different when ii lOOk at him nOw. Liike he's the Only One thats there... the Only One that matters, ya feel? Okay... let me start frOm the beginnin... We went tO the same schOOl in elementary, but ii never really knew him till 'rOund the last quarter of eighth grade. we mOved seats in this One class, n thas when ii really started talkin tO him... n then i started tO liike him, and he liiked me tOO. sO peOple was all tryna hOOk us up n whatever but neither Of us really wanted tO gO tOgether... i dOn't knOw why... i jus didnt. sO after a cOuple days ii kinda gOt Over him... schOOl ended... never really thOught about him that much anymOre. but then rOund sOmetime in july me n my friend ashley ended up On the phOne wit him. ii dOn't really knOw how, cuz liike, we never really talked like that. but anyway, me n him started talkin sOme mOre, n i started likin him again. sO we had been talkin On the phOne alOt n stuff, n sOmetimes i wOuld see him Over the weekend when sOme Of the crew wOuld gO tO the mOvies Or sOmethin. n One day he asked me Out... i said yes Of cOurse. So we was gOin Out fOr a lil while n we really... really liked each Other. it was jus sO adOrable. sOmetimes he'd jus cOme Outta nOwhere n be like "dezzy i lOve yOu sO much" n i'd be liike aww i lOve yOu tOO bOO. n it was like if i'd gO a day withOut talkin tO him i'd miss him sO much... n i'd be sO happy to just hear his vOice say, "wussup baby."  n then Our sOngsz... "sunshine" n "let's get away" aww i jus get all emOtiOnal when i think abOut it. but then One day, iOnO what happened, but i was mad at him and he was mad at me fOr sOme reasOn, and we eneded up breakin up. i was kinda sad but then again nOt really. sO at first we aint really talkin anymOre but then after a lil while we started talkin again... n liike it seemed like Our relatiOnship became better than when it was when we were gOin tOgether. liike we'd call each Other baby and bOO n stuff liike that. everyOne thOught we went back Out... but we really didn't. n i had really liked that. n then schOOl started... n i dOnt know what happened, but liike... it jus slOwly died dOwn. n nOw its jus *pOOf!* liike it never existed.  n i mean itsz a really lOng stOry... n this is already gettin lOng. but basically nOw, i dOnt even knOw.

He's jus liike a brOther to me. We talk all the time.... i feel liike he is One Of the few peOple i can truly trust. He's liike my best friend... and i cherish that relatiOnship cuz i can basically talk to him about anythiing, but i still like him. i jus love bein arOund him, talkin tO him... n liike jus a siimple phOne call frOm him makes me happy, yOu knOw?

Anyway... i shOuld get gOin, just had to let out some feelingsz. need some FRIENDS on here